Just say no to seedless watermelons!

They're bad. They're horrible. They're a vile mockery of real watermelons.

It's not just bad luck, you aren't just somehow picking a bad one every time. Oh no. They're ALL bad. And, despite that, they omnipresent because people don't want to deal with some seeds when they're cutting up a watermelon.

If they only have seedless watermelons where you live because people are terrified of seeds and have no idea what real watermelon is supposed to taste like, refuse to buy them. They're not better than no watermelon at all. They're just plain awful and depressing. Stop wasting your money on them. When grocery stores have to throw out thousands of the abominations because no one tries to deny how absolutely disgusting they are anymore, that is when they will begin re-stocking their bins with the real thing. If you live somewhere that hasn't totally sworn off real watermelons yet, always buy a real watermelon with seeds and do not support the cultivation of horrid mutant seedless watermelons. And if you aren't sure what all this is about since you've only ever eaten seedless watermelons and didn't even know there was a difference, definitely try one with seeds sometime. There's a very big difference. And if you cut the whole rind off the watermelon and then cut it lengthwise into quarters, it's usually pretty easy to clear most of the seeds out of the way.